In honor of this week’s Academy Awards Show…

Steve’s Top 100 Movie Lines of All Time:

1. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Clark Gable (Rhett Butler) “Gone With the Wind”
2. “Here’s looking at you, kid.” Humphrey Bogart (Rick Blaine) “Casablanca”
3. “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.” Judy Garland (Dorothy) “The Wizard of Oz”
4. “Mawage! Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday.” The Impressive Clergyman, “The Princess Bride”
5. “I love the smell of Napalm in the morning” Robert DuVall “Apocalypse Now”
6. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the War Room!” Peter Sellers “Dr. Strangelove”
7. “I can eat fifty eggs.” Paul Newman (Cool Hand Luke) “Cool Hand Luke”
8. “Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn’t know this either, but love don’t make things nice – it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren’t here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and die. The storybooks are bulls***. Now I want you to come upstairs with me and get in my bed!” Nicholas Cage (Ronnie Camarari), “Moonstruck”
9. “If you build it, they will come.” “Field of Dreams”
10. “There is an endless supply of white men, but there always has been a limited number of human beings.” Chief Dan George (Grandfather), “Little Big Man”
11. “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.” Al Pacino “The Godfather”
12. “Open the pod bay doors, HAL.” Keir Dullea “2001: A Space Odyssey”
13. “I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!” John Cleese “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”
14. “Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one today.” Bill Murray (Phil Connors) “Groundhog Day”
15. “Everybody has a heart — except some people.” Bette Davis (Margo Channing) “All About Eve”
16. “There are some who call me…Tim.” John Cleese “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”
17. “I feel like I’m Han Solo, and you’re Chewie, and she’s Ben Kenobi, and we’re in that ******-up bar” Jay (Jay) “Dogma”
18. “No! Try not. Do… or do not. There is no try.” (Yoda) “The Empire Strikes Back”
19. “That was a helluva thing.” (Fred Kwan), “Galaxy Quest”
20. “Bring out your dead!” Eric Idle “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”
21. “Listen! You smell something?” Dr. Raymond Stantz “Ghostbusters”
22. “I done built you a chapel.” Sidney Poitier (Homer Smith) “Lilies of the Field”
23. “Yes! Yes! I’m George, George McFly! I’m your density. I mean… your destiny” Crispin Glover (George McFly) “Back to the Future”
24. “Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges. I don’t have to show you any stinking badges.” Gold Hat “Treasure of the Sierra Madre”
25. “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.” Humphrey Bogart (Rick Blaine),“Casablanca”
26. “You talkin’ to me?” Robert DeNiro “Taxi Driver”
27. “Vince, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for?”
“Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the
Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!” (Dr. Egon Spengler and Vince Klortho)
“Ghostbusters”
28. “Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave?
Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the “ape” in apricot? What have they got that I ain’t got?”
All: Courage! (Cowardly Lion) “The Wizard of Oz”
29. “I’ll have what she’s having.” Estelle Reiner “When Harry met Sally”
30. “Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night!” Bette Davis (Margo Channing), “All About Eve”
31. “They’re not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they’re destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can
hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? — Carpe — hear it? — Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.” Robin Williams (John Keating), “Dead Poet’s Society”
32. “Is this heaven?”
“No, it’s Iowa.” Ray Liotta and Kevin Costner (Shoeless Joe Jackson and Ray Kinsella) “Field of Dreams”
33. “I may not be much Mr. Finch, but I’m still sheriff of Maycomb County. And Bob Ewell fell on his knife. Good night sir.” (Sheriff Tate) “To Kill a Mockingbird”
34. “Generally you don’t see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.” Dr. Peter Venkman “Ghostbusters”
35. “I know a way out of Hell. Find a small boy, about this high, whose parents have been killed,
and raise him as your own. But make sure he is Muslim, and raise him as one.” Ben Kingsley “Gandhi”
36. “Relax, all right? Don‘t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring; besides that, they‘re fascist. Throw some ground balls. It‘s more democratic.” Kevin Costner “Bull Durham”
37. “Is that what you call giving cover?”
“Is that what you call running?” Paul Newman and Robert Redford “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid”
38. “I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?” Robert DeNiro “Meet the Parents”
39. “When I die and I stand before God awaiting judgment and he asks me why I let one of HIS miracles die, what am I gonna say, that it was my job?” Tom Hanks (Paul Edgecomb) “The Green Mile”
40. “Why do we need language?”
“To communicate… “
“Nooo!! To woo women!” Robin Williams (John Keating) “Dead Poet’s Society”
41. “You want a prediction about the weather, you’re asking the wrong Phil. I’ll give you a winter prediction: It’s gonna be cold, it’s gonna be grey, and it’s gonna last you for the rest of your life.” Bill Murray (Phil Connors), “Groundhog Day”
42. “Well, I’ve been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones. You sure you got today’s codes?” Slim Pickens (Major T. J. “King” Kong) “Dr. Strangelove”
43. “Eventually all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world’s Great Flood, and runs over rocks in the basement of time. On some of the rocks, are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words; and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by waters.” Robert Redford “A River Runs Through It”
44. “There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.”
“Which one am I?”
“You’re the worst kind. You’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance.” Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan (Harry Burns and Sally Albright) “When Harry Met Sally”
45. “The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He’d be damned if any of the ****** were gonna get their greasy yellow hands on his boy’s birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ***. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ***. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my *** for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you. “ (Captain Koons), “Pulp Fiction”
46. “Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.” George C. Scott (Gen. George S. Patton Jr.) “Patton”
47. “Nobody’s looking for a puppeteer in today’s wintry economic climate.” John Cusack ( )“Being John Malkovich”
48. “There is no way this winter is ‘ever’ going to end as long as that groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don’t see any way out of it. He’s got to be stopped. And I have to stop him.” Bill Murray (Phil Connors) “Groundhog Day”
49. “What we’ve got here…is failure to communicate.” Strother Martin “Cool Hand Luke”
50. “You know, I had you pegged for a loser the first time I saw you, but I was wrong. You’re worse. You’re a coward.” Michelle Pfeiffer, “The Fabulous Baker Boys”
51. “You shoot off a guy’s head with his pants down, believe me, Texas is not the place you want to get caught.” Susan Sarandon “Thelma and Louise”
52. C.D. Bales: 1 Obvious: ‘Scuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face? 2, Meteorological: Everybody take cover. She’s going to blow. 3 Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like Wyoming. 4 Personal: Well, here we are, just the three of us. 5 Punctual: All right, Delbman, your nose was on time but you were fifteen minutes late. 6 Envious: Ooooh, I wish I were you. Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear. 7 Naughty: Uh, pardon me, sir. Some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn’t mind putting that thing away. 8 Philosophical: You know, it’s not the size of a nose that’s important, it’s what’s in it that matters. 9 Humorous: Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and it’s goodbye Seattle. 10 Commercial: Hi. I’m Earl Shive, and I can paint that nose for $39.95 11 Polite: Uh, would you mind not bobbing your head? The, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo. 12 Melodic C.D. Bales: You must love the little birds,
[points to his big nose]
you give them this to perch on.
Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair?
French: Ze pigs have refoosed to find any more truffles until you go away!
Pornographic: Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the first man who can please two women at the same
time!
Scientific: Say, that doesn’t effect the tides, does it?
53. “You can’t handle the truth!” Jack Nicholson “A Few Good Men”
54. “Look at that! Look how she moves! That’s like Jell-O on springs.” Jack Lemmon “Some Like It Hot”
55. “When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome. Then, of course, you spoke.” Helen Hunt “As Good As It Gets”
56. “Stand up. Your father’s passing.” William Walker (Reverend Sykes), “To Kill a Mockingbird”
57. “I’ma get medieval on your ***.” Ving Rhames “Pulp Fiction”
58. “This is my corn. You people are guests in my corn.” Kevin Costner (Ray Kinsella) “Field of Dreams”
59. “I’m not bad; I’m just drawn that way.” Kathleen Turner “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”
60. “I see dead people.” Joel Haley Osmet (Cole Sear) “Sixth Sense”
61. “Lions, and tigers, and bears! Oh, my!” Judy Garland (Dorothy) “The Wizard of Oz”
62. “There are two kinds of women and you, as we well know, are not the first kind. You, my dear, are a slut.” Omar Sharif (Komarovski) “Doctor Zhivago”
63. “Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!” (Kitty) “Donnie Darko”
64. “My father taught me many things here, taught me in this room. He taught me, Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.” Al Pacino (Michael Corleone) “The Godfather Part II”
65. “There is the railway. And that is the desert. From here until we reach the other side, no water but what we carry with us. For the camels, no water at all. If the camels die, we die. And in twenty days they will start to die.”
Omar Sharif (Sherif Ali) “Lawrence of Arabia”
66. “Imagine a giant cockroach, with unlimited strength, a massive inferiority complex, and a real short temper, is tear-***ing around Manhattan in a brand-new Edgar suit. That sound like fun to you?” Tommy Lee Jones (Kay) “Men in Black”
67. “How extravagant you are, throwing away women like that. Some day they may be scarce.” Captain Louis Renault “Casablanca”
68. “I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.” “Forrest Gump”
69. “You know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower.” Chris Rock (Rufus) “Dogma”
70. “You’re two wonderful people who happened to fall in love and happen to have a pigmentation problem.” (Matt Drayton) “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner”
71. “I have to teach myself not to read too much into everything. It comes from too long having to read so much into hardly anything at all.” (Madox) “The English Patient”
72. “A ‘person’ is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.” Tommy Lee Jones (Kay) “Men in Black”
73. “There’s a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.” I been sayin’ that **** for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ***. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a mother****** before you popped a cap in his ***. But I saw some **** this mornin’ made me think twice. Now I’m thinkin’: it could mean you’re the evil man. And I’m the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he’s the shepherd protecting my righteous *** in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you’re the righteous man and I’m the shepherd and it’s the world that’s evil and selfish. I’d like that. But that **** ain’t the truth.
The truth is you’re the weak. And I’m the tyranny of evil men. But I’m tryin’, Ringo. I’m tryin’ real hard to be a shepherd.” Samuel L. Jackson (Jules) “Pulp Fiction”
74. “Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.” Harrison Ford (Han Solo) “Star Wars”
75. “All I’m saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don’t get him first, somebody else will, and you’ll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband “ Carrie Fisher (Marie) “When Harry Met Sally”
76. “Bring out the gimp.” “Pulp Fiction”
77. “I’ll get you my pretty…and your little dog too!” (Wicked Witch of the West) “The Wizard of Oz”
78. “You know how to whistle, don’t you, Steve? You just put your lips together…and blow.” Lauren Bacall “To Have and Have Not”
79. “You’re not too smart, are you? I like that in a man.” Kathleen Turner “Body Heat”
80. “Cut the horse****, son. I’ve got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode.” (Dean Vernon Wormer) “Animal House”
81. “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C- beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.” Rutger Hauer (Batty), “Blade Runner”
82. “Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained! A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph! Adventure. Heh! Excitement. Heh! A Jedi craves not these things. “ (Yoda )“The Empire Strikes Back”
83. “In time you will see that this is the best thing.”
“In time you’ll die and I’ll come to your funeral in a red dress!” Cher (Loretta Castorini) “Moonstruck”
84. “Von Trapp children don’t play. They march.” (Frau Schmidt) “The Sound of Music”
85. “There’s not a day goes by I don’t feel regret. Not because I’m in here, or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then, a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can’t. That kid’s long gone and this old man is all that’s left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It’s just a bull**** word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don’t give a ****.” Morgan Freeman (Red) “The Shawshank Redemption”
86. “Get me the big knife.” Nicholas Cage, “Moonstruck”
87. “Your true love lives! And you marry another. True Love saved her in the Fire Swamp, and she treated it like garbage. And that’s what she is, the Queen of Refuse. So bow down to her if you want, bow to her. Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence. Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boo! (The Ancient Booer) “The Princess Bride”
88. “We’re all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand scale, most of these choices are on lesser points. But we define ourselves by the choices we have made. We are, in fact some total of our choices. Events unfold so unpredictably, so unfairly, Human happiness does not seem to be included in the design of creation. It is only we, with our capacity to love that give meaning to the indifferent universe. And yet, most human beings seem to have the ability to keep trying and even try to find joy from simple things, like their family or work, and from the hope that future generations might understand more.” (Professor Levy) “Crimes and Misdemeanors”
89. “And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.” Bill Murray “Caddyshack”
90. “Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.” Woody Allen “Annie Hall”
91. “Let’s get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!” Sigourney Weaver, (Gwen DeMarco), “Galaxy Quest”
92. “Dunbar, not Dumb Bear.” Kevin Costner (Lt. John Dunbar) “Dances With Wolves”
93. “Hand me my wallet.”
“Which one is it?”
“It’s the one with ‘bad mother******’ written on it.” Samuel L. Jackson and (Jules and Pumpkin) “Pulp Fiction”
94. “If you’d come to me in friendship, then this scum that ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they
would fear you.” Marlon Brando (Don Corleone) “The Godfather”
95. “This is our most desperate hour. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.” Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia) “Star Wars”
96. “I’m walkin’ here!” Dustin Hoffman (Ratzo Rizzo) “Midnight Cowboy”
97. “Jerry, d’you know the human head weighs eight pounds?” Jonathan Lipnicki “Jerry Maguire”
98. “We’re on a mission from God.” Dan Akroyd, “The Blues Brothers
99. “You had me at hello.” Renee Zellweger “Jerry Maguire”
100. “It’s not a tumah!” Arnold Scharwznegger, “Kindergarten Cop”

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