As I’m sure you are already aware, new episodes of Futurama premiere tonight (Thursday, June 24th) on Comedy Central.  And if you’re not already aware, that’s fine, it just means we will NEVER BE FRIENDS!  I’m just kidding, we can be friends.  Do you want to be friends?  Please, I’m so lonely… Oh, sorry, hi!  New episodes, right.  Futurama was cancelled in 2003, but after finding success in syndication, there came a renewed interest in producing new material.

That led to the four movies that most would argue are amusing, but don’t quite measure up to the show’s original run.  The most likely reason for this is the, perhaps, misguided attempt to expand the stories to what amounted to four episodes apiece.  Futurama works best when it’s tight, and the movies were just stretched too thin.  Hopefully going back to 22 minutes will yield more brilliant outings along the lines of Jurassic Bark, Roswell That Ends Well, Luck of the Fryish, or Teenage Mutant Leela’s Hurdles.  Or literally any other episode, are there bad ones?  I haven’t seen one.

But enough of this chitter-chatter!  All it’s doing is taking away from the really important matter at hand!  Rampant, context-free Futurama quotes!  And please, feel free to add your own in the comments section below.

“Ladies please, we need rest.  The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.”

“I can’t wait ’til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff.”

“Fry, you can’t keep boogeying like this, you’ll develop a fever of some sort.”

“We can escape through that nasal capillary!”  “Strange, usually you don’t know anything about human anatomy.”  “I heard it in a decongestant commercial, ‘Soothing action action action…’”

“Oh, a lesson in Not-Changing-History from Mr. I’m My Own Grandpa!”

“But you’re not like other monkeys, you’ve got the hat.”

“I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan.”

“Computer dating, it’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase ‘Upside your head.’”

“I find the most erotic part of a woman to be the boobies.”

“You still have Zoidberg, YOU ALL STILL HAVE ZOIDBERG!”

“The big brain am winning again!  I am the greetest!  Now I will leave Earth for no raisin!”

“Somebody fat get in my waaaaaay!!!”

“I had it all, several friends, a low-paying job, a bed in a robot’s closet!  I envied no man.”

“I’m still in grave peril, you clods!  With my final breath… I curse Zoidberg!”

“I was God once.”  “Yes, I saw, it was going well until everybody died.”

Posted under Kyle's Adventures in Pop Culture