Remakes come in many forms, there are the rare worthwhile ones, like Ocean’s 11, 3:10 To Yuma, The Departed, or Far From Heaven (and True Grit looks like it might fall into that category), the interesting, yet inferior, such as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Halloween, or Dawn of the Dead (The Manchurian Candidate just misses this category since the original, if you weren’t aware, is a diamond-cut masterpiece and should not have been tampered with).  Then there’s the rest, The Day The Earth Stood Still, Mr. Deeds, Psycho, Rollerball (probably the worst movie I’ve ever seen) and any of countless others that continue to be made year after year.

Many see this as a sign of Hollywood’s flagging creativity and originality, however this is not a new trend, nor is it always a bad thing.  Fistful of Dollars and The Magnificent Seven are classic westerns, yet are both remakes of Kurosawa films (Yojimbo and The Seven Samurai respectively), the Bogart version of The Maltese Falcon was actually the third version of that film, and His Girl Friday (one of my favorite movies in the whole wide world) is a remake of The Front Page.  So there.

There are other things that get the remake moniker that don’t technically qualify, in my opinion.  I’m talking about film adaptations of television shows.  I don’t think attempting to bring something to a new medium should get derided as lacking in creativity.  It’s doubly unfair since most of the “bad” examples are actually a ton of fun, Charlie’s Angels, The A-Team, and The Brady Bunch were terrifically entertaining (and I also didn’t hate The Dukes of Hazzard, but I’m not about to mention that here… shoot!).

This is kind of making it sound like I’m pro-remakes, all the time, and this is absolutely not true.  There are several films which should never be remade, yet a lot of Hollywood-types are not on that same wave-length.  Which brings me to the reason for this blog post: Johnny Depp wants to remake The Thin Man.  My first response to that news (as should be yours) was a good, lengthy “Noooooooo!”  Then I composed myself and am now prepared to give a more rational argument for why that shouldn’t happen, here goes…

Noooooooooooo!!!

Sorry, let me try that again.  The Thin Man is an absolute classic, and in all respects should not be bastardized to satisfy Mr. Depp’s personal whims.  Now, I like Johnny Depp, and objectively, he probably could do Nick Charles justice (he wouldn’t touch William Powell, but he would likely be passable).  The bigger problem is finding someone who could play Nora.  We don’t really have a Myrna Loy, someone who could play intimidating, yet naive, and be funny all the while.  I’ve been racking my brain for a week trying to come up with someone who could do right by the character and I’ve got nothing.

The best suggestion I’ve heard thus far is Rachel Weisz.  She could probably nail the character, but she’s just a little too old.  That’s not ageism, I think Rachel Weisz is supremely talented and drop dead gorgeous to boot, but Nora needs to be in her late twenties at the most, which Weisz is just a bit too far outside of to play convincingly.  So what about somebody more age-appropriate?  Well, Kristen Wiig isn’t serious enough, Rashida Jones is too sweet, Carey Mulligan isn’t flighty enough, Natalie Portman seems like the obvious choice, but isn’t for reasons ineffable.  It’s a serious problem.

Which is to say nothing of the fact that the film itself is damn near perfect and absolutely does not need a remake.  Seriously, of all the lesser films that could be remade with few eyes batted, they had to hit upon a beloved classic, one that has already had it’s story expanded on several times.  This is where I have to side with those decrying the lack of originality in Tinsel Town.  And don’t even get me started on that Arthur remake.

Posted under Kyle's Adventures in Pop Culture

Jackass 3-D is the latest chapter in an ongoing saga of the doomed relationship between nine men and their genitals.  It’s a complicated relationship, and the film shows that, on some level, these men do love their genitals, but their general outward demeanor prevents them from showing it.  Couple that with the genitals’ excessive sensitivity to abuse, and you get a clear picture as to why these relationships will not work out in the end.

Or it’s a bunch of stupid guys who like to see their friends get hit in the crotch.  One of those two.  Jackass 3-D continues the tradition of Johnny Knoxville and Co. doing profoundly stupid things on camera.  And as usual, it’s hilarious, if you’re into that sort of thing.  This latest outing adds a dimension which they unfortunately don’t take advantage of nearly as much as they should have, however some scenes are wildly inventive (one scene in particular has a “Female Bedroom Aid” fired from a cannon almost directly at the camera in slow motion).

The film contains the usual high-concept bits, such as a domestic dispute involving a couple, a jilted ex-lover, the ex-lover’s cronies, two police officers and some paramedics all playing out in a public bar, in which all parties are portrayed by little people.  Another involves Steve-O strapped into a Port-A-Potty overflowing with… well, you know, attached to a giant bungee cord and the resulting carnage.

But some of the best parts of the film come from the purely simple moments, like seeing Knoxville standing in front of a big sling shot and getting hit in the face by a huge rubber ball, without any introduction.  Or Danger Ehren getting flung into a pool on a Boogie Board and inexplicably not falling on his face.  Or the several seconds before the introduction of “Tee Ball” in which we are treated to a shot of Steve-O (in tighty-whities) standing next to a tee-ball set up clearly aimed at his groin, with Ryan Dunn standing just behind him with a baseball bat slung casually over his shoulder.  The big moments make the trailer, but it’s the small moments that make the film.

On the whole, though, this latest addition to the Jackass canon (did I really just type that?) doesn’t capture quite that same spark as Jackass 2 (their creative apex, in my opinion [did I really just type that?!]).  The boys are all back, and totally game for some creative pain and suffering, but there seems to be a notion that all of them are wondering just exactly why they are still doing this.

This is supposedly the last outing for the Jackass crew (at least under the Jackass moniker) and it’s a fitting sendoff.  The film is jam-packed with hysterical, cringe-inducing moments, and despite the fact that the whole crew is finally seeming to recognize that they’re too old for this, there is still plenty to enjoy here.  Just don’t try to duplicate any of it, you’ve been warned.

Posted under Kyle's Adventures in Pop Culture

Sorry about the huge lapse in posts.  A mild cash shortage coupled with the September Slump meant there wasn’t a whole lot, theatre-wise, that I could write about.  And I haven’t been watching a whole lot of movies at home as I have been preoccupied with Buffy The Vampire Slayer and James Bond films, both of which I may write about as a whole once I have completed them both (so stay tuned for that).  But I now find myself with a little change in my pocket in the season of Oscar-bait, so let’s kick this off with one of the best reviewed movies of the year.

The Social Network is the story of Mark Zuckerberg’s rise to power (which makes him sound like a cackling villain, a notion that is only slightly supported by the film itself) by (possibly) stealing the idea for Facebook.  The story is told, via flashbacks, by various sources giving testimony for two different lawsuits (a wonderfully clever idea that leads to at least one remarkable sequence).  That’s an overly simple way of describing it, but seeing as most of you have probably already seen the film, that’s really all the further I’m going to go into it.

What the filmmakers have accomplished here will surely go down as one of the best films of the year, at least.   The performances are terrific all across the board (especially Justin Timberlake, who absolutely nails the character’s bravado and the cowardice that it hides), David Fincher’s direction is superb, he provides an astonishing visual flair when it’s required, and backs off when the plot and dialogue need to be front and center.  And that’s to say nothing of the story itself which is totally captivating and astonishing.

But what really makes the whole thing pop is the typically amazing dialogue by Aaron Sorkin.  Bringing the same motor-mouthed intellectualism that made backroom politics, insider sports discussions, and the defense of a couple Marines accused of murder so exciting, Sorkin turns what could have been just a lengthy discussion of algorithms and html code into a discussion of algorithms and html code that crackles with life.

It’s still too soon to tell how this will stand come Oscar time, it’s a front-runner right now, but unless something comes along to blow it out of the water, I could easily see this taking home the top prize.  That would make for one heck of a status update.

Posted under Kyle's Adventures in Pop Culture